Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Long line to the Presidency

"Don't any of you realize that there's only one life between that madman and the Presidency?!" -Mark Hanna (speaking about Theodore Roosevelt.)


The cabinet is made up of 16 positions that are considered advisers to the president. Article II, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution gives the president the power to appoint the members of his cabinet, so long as they are approved by Congress. Without further ado, the cabinet positions (in order of succession to the presidency) are...



1. Vice President
Current: Joe "Gaff-machine" Biden






2. Secretary of State
Current: Hilary "Stone Cold Crazy" Clinton






3. Department of the Treasury
Current: Timothy "Blue Steel" Geithner




4. Department of Defense
Current: Robert M. Gates





5. Department of Justice
Current: Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr




6. Department of the Interior (note: not in charge of interior decoration)
Current: Kenneth Salazar






7. Department of Agriculture
Current: Thomas "the Pooh" Vilsack







8. Secretary of Commerce
Current: Gary Locke





9. Department of Labor
Current: Hilda Solis







10. Department of Heath and Human Services
Current: Kathleen "The Ice Queen" Sebelius








11. Department of Housing and Urban Development
Current: Shaun "Party Animal" Donovan







12. Department of Transportation
Current: Ray "Grandpa Munster" LaHood



13. Department of Energy
Current: Steven Chu




14. Department of Education
Current: Arne "Gee Whiz" Duncan





15. Department of Veteran Affairs
Current: Eric Shinseki





16. Department of Homeland Security
Current: Janet Napolitano







Wow. Here's hoping that we don't lose everyone up to Thomas Vilsack. If history is any indication, the line would only go as far as vice-president.

These nine vice presidents have taken over for their bosses due to death or resignation. The line of succession has never gone further than vice president.

1. John Tyler (1841) (William Henry Harrison died after 30 days)
2. Millard Fillmore (1850) (Zachery Taylor kicked the bucket)
3. Andrew Johnson (1865) (Lincoln assassinated by a coward)
4. Chester A. Arthur (1881) (Garfield killed by doctors more than his assassin)
5. Theodore Roosevelt (1901) (McKinley assassinated)
6. Calvin Coolidge (1923) (Harding bought the farm)
7. Harry S. Truman (1945) (FDR had an aneurism)
8. Lyndon B. Johnson (1963) (Kennedy assassinated by hillbilly)
9. Gerald Ford (1974) (Nixon resigned)

*All information from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: History's Lists and whitehouse.gov.

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